rosewoodconsultinggroup | Desiree Doucet

Life Transitions – A survival guide

Apr 8, 2023 | Positive Intelligence, Transitions

First of all – what is a life transition?

I’d like to take a moment and normalize life transitions. They are a part of life – sometimes we see them coming, other times they sneak up on us, and sometimes they completely blindside us. Regardless of how we end up there, we all experience them – it doesn’t mean they’re easy or fun to navigate. Some can be downright awful, but that’s why I am here – to help you figure out your path forward, to gather the lessons learned after the transition(s) and get you back on your feet, ready to take on another day.

Life transitions can be: becoming a parent, having your children grow up + leave the nest, the end of a long term relationship (or marriage), the loss of a loved one or a career change. It can even be a years-long worldwide pandemic or a natural disaster.

The commonality of all life transitions is that they shake up our lives and our routines. They may even cause us to pause and re-evaluate beliefs, habits, patterns, friendships, social circles or values. Life transitions can be a distressing time. These times may include grief, emotional processing, therapy and change that requires acceptance and adaptation.

Transitions are often a time of great uncertainty and deeply unsettling. If you’re in the midst of a transition right now, have faith – like all things in life “this too, shall pass”. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. I say that with humor – because in the middle of some of my transitions I certainly wished that awful time would pass – I didn’t care if it felt like a kidney stone (and trust me, some of my transitions were painful). In the end, I was able to extract lessons + growth from all of them and I feel that my journey has prepared me to help others through theirs. This is my calling and it’s my honor to be there to support you in your journey.

Back to Life transitions…

If you’re going through it – whatever it is – know that it’s totally normal to have big emotions and feel like the world may be spinning out of control. Especially if this transition involves deeply emotional shifts (the loss of a loved one or the ending of a long term relationship), it is wise to seek therapy or counseling to work through those feelings.

Coaches can help, but coaches are not professionally trained therapists. When working with a coach, they may refer you to a therapist if they feel you need additional support than what they are able to offer you. Another good idea is to build a support network of friends + family when you’re going through a major change. You may want to search for support groups in your area or online for people experiencing your specific life transition. In my experience, those who were walking a similar walk as I was were very helpful in my journey.

A few helpful tips …

Be gentle with yourself – it’s totally normal to be exhausted by the upheaval of the transition. If you’re learning a new skill, that’s very taxing on your brain. Give yourself grace and extra time to rest, if needed. If you’re walking through grief, that can be positively exhausting and that’s totally normal. If you need more rest than your normally would or you find yourself more emotionally spent than you normally are, those are all things going through grief and transition typically experience. If your exhaustion gets to a level where you cannot complete daily self-care and home care tasks, you may wish to speak to a professional to seek assistance.

I’ve also found that boundaries are helpful, especially in periods of deep emotional change. A great resource on boundaries is Melissa Urban’s “The Book of Boundaries” (affiliate link) – she gives a great overview of boundaries, what they are and what they are not in an easy to read book that is entertaining as well as information. She gives readers options for gentle, firm and firmer delivery of the same boundary, in case the person you are interacting with is having difficulty hearing or accepting your boundary.

Other forms of self-reflection such as journaling, walks in nature and quiet contemplation are great additions to help you discern your path forward and any lessons you may want to process and take forward in your next phase of life.

Times of transition are also the perfect time to invest in and learn about tools that help you weather the storm(s) of your life, it could be a modality such as EFT/Tapping or developing a mental fitness practice.

One of the most impactful practices I’ve ever adopted is learning about Positive Intelligence and building a regular practice of PQ© reps. I am a PQ© Coach and can take clients through a 6-week process to understand the concepts of Positive Intelligence© and how to do PQ© reps. The methods will help you understand how to shift from a stress filled Saboteur led mindset to more of a wise, Sage mindset where you make better decisions and can more easily access insight, intuition and deeply held wisdom. If you’re interested in that program, you can read more here.

Regardless of your journey and the solutions you choose to help you discern, learn + grow – I wish you well on your journey. May this time bring you insights and wisdom and help you grow into the person you most wish to become. If I can be off assistance, please get in touch.

© 2022 Positive Intelligence, LLC. All rights reserved. No reproduction, alteration,translation,publication or distribution,in any form,printed or electronic, is permitted without the express prior written consent of Positive Intelligence, LLC. POSITIVE INTELLIGENCE®, PQ®, PQ COACH™, CERTIFIED PQ COACH™, and P+ logo™are trademarks of Positive Intelligence,LLC.

DISCLAIMERS:The coach identified here is an independent member of the PQ Coach program, and not an employee, agent or representative of Positive Intelligence, LLC. The coaching program offered herein is independently owned and operated by the coach, and is not affiliated with or endorsed or sponsored by Positive Intelligence, LLC. PROGRAM CONTENT AND MATERIAL DO NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL OR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE AND ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL CARE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT OF ANY MEDICAL OR MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION

This blog post is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. Desiree is not a professionally trained therapist. If you are in need of assistance from a professionally trained therapist or counselor, please seek help. This is simply a guide of what many people experience during a change or shift in their life.

We participate in various affiliate programs where a small commission may be earned at no additional cost to you if you purchase a product using links in this document. We appreciate your support if you should choose to purchase a product or service that we recommend.

What to Expect in a Coaching Session

Mar 29, 2023 | Transitions

You hired a coach? Awesome! Now you’re asking yourself “What is going to happen in a coaching session?”

That’s what I’m here to tell you – so you can go into a coaching session prepared and ready to get the most out of the time you have with your coach.

First, it’s helpful if you have a topic identified to discuss with your coach before arriving at the session. Most coaches will go through a brief set of questions when beginning a coaching session that are geared toward clarifying the topic that you’d like to work on during the session and your goal of what you’d like to have completed by the end of the session. It’s helpful if you have some idea of what you’d like to discuss.

When you arrive at the session, especially if you are stressed or frazzled – the coach may do a moment or two of “centering” or grounding. This is to help you release some stress so you can be present for the session and get the most out of the time with your coach. This may be similar to a guided meditation. If you feel self conscious, you can always turn off your camera (if you are meeting virtually) or keep your eyes open if closing your eyes feels uncomfortable for you – softening your gaze is a great option if you’re not comfortable closing your eyes.

The coaching session should feel like a safe space where you can express your needs, so if something isn’t comfortable for you, speak up and discuss it with your coach. Remember, coaching is a partnership between you and your coach. It’s okay to speak up, ask for what you need from your coach. Coaching sessions are a safe space where it’s okay to assert your needs and feel heard/validated. There’s no reason to stress about a coaching session – coaches aim to provide a safe, judgment free zone to discuss whatever topic you would like to discuss.

The coach will ask open-ended questions that are designed to help you discern what may be standing in the way of something you’re looking to change, understand more fully or overcome. If there are moments of silence, that’s okay, too. Take your time to pause and reflect when answering the questions they present to you. You are in control of the session and the direction of the session. If you are unhappy or uncomfortable with the direction the session is taking, it’s okay to address it with your coach. The coach is there to partner with you and help you arrive at the goal you set forth for your session or coaching journey (some goals may take multiple sessions to move toward a larger goal).

At the end of the session, the coach will usually check in with you and reflect on insights from the session. They may also ask you what you learned and what action(s) you intend to take to move you closer to your goal in between sessions. Many times, a thought or question raised during a session could lead to insights between sessions. They may also ask you to do some additional work between sessions. This may include journaling, some thought-work or prioritizing a list of values that are most important to you. If you have questions about any of this, ask your coach.

Coaching should feel like a supportive and safe space to share, explore and grow in your journey.

If you’re interested in learning more about coaching, you may book a complimentary discovery session with me. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have about my coaching methods, training and tools available to use with clients.

Download my eBook “10 Ways to Reconnect with Yourself” and take one step closer to creating a life that energizes you.

How can a Life Coach help me?

Mar 15, 2023 | Transitions

…and what does a Life Coach do?

If you’re most people, you didn’t really know what life coaches do. A few days ago, it dawned on me that most people don’t really know what coaches do and how a coach can help them on their journey. So, bear with me while I explain a bit about coaching and how it may be able to help you.

We all know how sports coaches work with athletes to help them improve their skills, mindset and identify areas for future growth. That makes sense. Most of us don’t realize that when it comes to life, we can also benefit from coaching concepts and assistance. Your mindset when it comes to life is one of the most impactful things you can control – when your life may feel completely out of control. This is something I never learned in my youth and only started to understand in the last 10 years of my life. I had choices. Life didn’t just “happen” to me. I could make choices about my actions AND the beliefs I held on to so tightly.

If you’re rebuilding your life after a major shift, coaching can be incredibly helpful to you. Coaches have access to tools and they are trained on concepts to help you uncover what your ideal life looks and feels like for you. Coaching is not a regulated industry, so not all coach training is the same and coaches aren’t even required to be trained in coaching tools and skills in order to work with clients.

That didn’t sit well with me. I knew from my own experience after major life transitions that this can be a very delicate time and rebuilding can stretch and grow you in ways you aren’t prepared for. I decided to find a comprehensive coaching program with a proven methodology, skills and assessments to help me help my clients experience lasting change in their lives.

When you work with me, you’ll learn and grow in ways that are sustainable long term. You’ll be able to glean the lessons from your experiences so that you can use those as a stepping stone to your next phase in life – whatever you define that to be and look like. Working with me will give you access to measurable assessments and tools you can use to see your progress before and after our work together.

Coaching is a partnership – a judgement free, safe place to express, explore, learn and grow with someone to guide you as you’re settling and adjusting into a new phase of life. Powerful life coaches will help you uncover the answers that you hold inside of your heart – accessing the wisdom from within. No one has the lived experience that you have, so how can someone else who just met you even begin to know what the right answers are for you? Allowing you to choose how to proceed gives you the buy-in and builds your confidence throughout the coaching engagement so that you come out of the experience stronger and more able to handle any future life transitions. Your coach will be there to help you stay motivated, hold you accountable and assist you in getting “un-stuck” if you feel stuck in indecision or inaction.

Teaching you these tools as well as how to access your powerful intution to find the answers will lead to sustained change. As someone who has been through divorce, loss of both of my parents, career change and building a new business – I know firsthand how major life shifts can really upend your life and cause stress. The interesting fact is that we don’t work at our best under tremendous stress. Finding a peaceful, soul centered path for you to navigate during this transition will be imperative to your growth from the phase of life that is ending and help you blossom into your next phase of life.

If you are going through a major life shift and you’re interested in learning more about coaching, book a complimentary discovery call with me.

Download my eBook “10 Ways to Reconnect with Yourself” and take one step closer to creating a life that energizes you.

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