First of all – what is a life transition?
I’d like to take a moment and normalize life transitions. They are a part of life – sometimes we see them coming, other times they sneak up on us, and sometimes they completely blindside us. Regardless of how we end up there, we all experience them – it doesn’t mean they’re easy or fun to navigate. Some can be downright awful, but that’s why I am here – to help you figure out your path forward, to gather the lessons learned after the transition(s) and get you back on your feet, ready to take on another day.
Life transitions can be: becoming a parent, having your children grow up + leave the nest, the end of a long term relationship (or marriage), the loss of a loved one or a career change. It can even be a years-long worldwide pandemic or a natural disaster.
The commonality of all life transitions is that they shake up our lives and our routines. They may even cause us to pause and re-evaluate beliefs, habits, patterns, friendships, social circles or values. Life transitions can be a distressing time. These times may include grief, emotional processing, therapy and change that requires acceptance and adaptation.
Transitions are often a time of great uncertainty and deeply unsettling. If you’re in the midst of a transition right now, have faith – like all things in life “this too, shall pass”. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. I say that with humor – because in the middle of some of my transitions I certainly wished that awful time would pass – I didn’t care if it felt like a kidney stone (and trust me, some of my transitions were painful). In the end, I was able to extract lessons + growth from all of them and I feel that my journey has prepared me to help others through theirs. This is my calling and it’s my honor to be there to support you in your journey.
Back to Life transitions…
If you’re going through it – whatever it is – know that it’s totally normal to have big emotions and feel like the world may be spinning out of control. Especially if this transition involves deeply emotional shifts (the loss of a loved one or the ending of a long term relationship), it is wise to seek therapy or counseling to work through those feelings.
Coaches can help, but coaches are not professionally trained therapists. When working with a coach, they may refer you to a therapist if they feel you need additional support than what they are able to offer you. Another good idea is to build a support network of friends + family when you’re going through a major change. You may want to search for support groups in your area or online for people experiencing your specific life transition. In my experience, those who were walking a similar walk as I was were very helpful in my journey.
A few helpful tips …
Be gentle with yourself – it’s totally normal to be exhausted by the upheaval of the transition. If you’re learning a new skill, that’s very taxing on your brain. Give yourself grace and extra time to rest, if needed. If you’re walking through grief, that can be positively exhausting and that’s totally normal. If you need more rest than your normally would or you find yourself more emotionally spent than you normally are, those are all things going through grief and transition typically experience. If your exhaustion gets to a level where you cannot complete daily self-care and home care tasks, you may wish to speak to a professional to seek assistance.
I’ve also found that boundaries are helpful, especially in periods of deep emotional change. A great resource on boundaries is Melissa Urban’s “The Book of Boundaries” (affiliate link) – she gives a great overview of boundaries, what they are and what they are not in an easy to read book that is entertaining as well as information. She gives readers options for gentle, firm and firmer delivery of the same boundary, in case the person you are interacting with is having difficulty hearing or accepting your boundary.
Other forms of self-reflection such as journaling, walks in nature and quiet contemplation are great additions to help you discern your path forward and any lessons you may want to process and take forward in your next phase of life.
Times of transition are also the perfect time to invest in and learn about tools that help you weather the storm(s) of your life, it could be a modality such as EFT/Tapping or developing a mental fitness practice.
One of the most impactful practices I’ve ever adopted is learning about Positive Intelligence and building a regular practice of PQ© reps. I am a PQ© Coach and can take clients through a 6-week process to understand the concepts of Positive Intelligence© and how to do PQ© reps. The methods will help you understand how to shift from a stress filled Saboteur led mindset to more of a wise, Sage mindset where you make better decisions and can more easily access insight, intuition and deeply held wisdom. If you’re interested in that program, you can read more here.
Regardless of your journey and the solutions you choose to help you discern, learn + grow – I wish you well on your journey. May this time bring you insights and wisdom and help you grow into the person you most wish to become. If I can be off assistance, please get in touch.
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This blog post is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. Desiree is not a professionally trained therapist. If you are in need of assistance from a professionally trained therapist or counselor, please seek help. This is simply a guide of what many people experience during a change or shift in their life.
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